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Dear Judith,
Jeff and I were shocked and so deeply saddened to hear of David's passing. His inner sweetness and love of Israel and all her people always touched us. We so enjoyed his writing and respected him so highly. Our hearts and prayers go out to you.
Noelle 2005-07-25 16:10:22 °28 |
Dear Judith,
I was so sad to hear that David was so ill and then that he had died. My heart goes out to you and your dear family. May David's name always be for a blessing.
Peachy 2005-07-25 16:59:06 °29 |
Words of Love for David
(delivered at his funeral by Yeshayahu (Joel) Zeff)
In this week’s Torah reading the daughters of Tzelafchad describe their father’s death in the following words: Our father died in the wilderness; he was not among those who gathered together against the Lord in the company of Korach, but died for his own sin. (Numbers 27:3) The Talmudic tradition sees the somewhat wordy verse as emphasizing the fact that Tzelafchad did not participant in any of the mass acts of rebellion against God, such as the mutiny of Korach or the sedition of the spies. He died because he was not yet perfect, as no human being can be, and therefore mortal. His imperfection was expressed through some personal shortcoming, “his own sin,” but certainly not the “herd like” mass rebellions mentioned above. What was “his own sin”? The Talmudic tradition posits a variety of theories, each offered emphatically. One opinion says that he was the “gatherer of sticks” while another states that he could not possibly have been the “gatherer of sticks,” while another voice proposes that he was among those who entered the Land of Israel without God’s permission. Why was there so much “confusion” about Tzelafchad? Perhaps Tzelafchad had such a multilayered, rich, and complex personality that different individuals could read into him very different dimensions- and they all might have been true!
By way of VERY loose analogy, David can be compared to Tzelafchad in this respect. David had such a multilayered, rich, and complex personality that he was able to authentically embody dimensions that would normally have been considered to be contradictory. David was a leftist, like me. David was a right wing settler, just like me. David was staunchly Orthodox, just like me. David was a religious liberal, just like me. And so on… David really was all of these and much more. And he certainly was not a follower of the herd. I wanted to give David a funeral that he would have “enjoyed” and I know that he will get a kick out of my reading from a book on quantum physics, “The Dancing Wu Li Masters.” The author describes the paradoxical nature of light and states, “The equation that the game obeys is a wave equation, but there are no waves running around. There are not particles running around either. What’s running around are quanta, the third alternative.” David was the third alternative, he was the quanta of humanity and we were the blessed beneficiaries of his rich personality.
I would like to share just a few of the other dimensions that I saw in David.
David had a wonderful curiosity. He was interested in everything and would pursue his curiosity in his life-long quest of continuous learning.
David had a rare ability to validate others. He would ask my opinion of something in a way that indicated that my view really mattered to him. He would then intently listen, respond, clarify, and challenge. I would always feel “important” after such a conversation and looked forward to them.
David was blessedly free of cynicism. I could not think of a good word in English to describe this characteristic. When I asked my wife Donna about this she pointed out, as only a fellow New Yorker could, that David had somehow managed to escape that “New York” personality that exudes a slightly arrogant cynicism. The Hebrew word tamim comes to mind in thinking of David. This word describes a kind of purity which usually derives from a lack of worldliness. David hardly lacked worldliness (!) yet he somehow was able to remain uncontaminated by the poison of cynicism which usually infects those of his experience.
David’s commitment to halachic Judaism was astounding. One would not have anticipated that someone of David’s complexity would have the kind of uncompromising dedication that he displayed. We recently had a conversation about kitniyot on Pesach. Though I felt that there was room for flexibility David wasn’t interested in running after leniencies.
David’s loyalty to friends was proactive and rock solid. My wife pointed out to me that, unfortunately, we only got together with David and Judith a few times a year. One of those occasions was the proximate birthdays of Donna and David that we would jointly celebrate by going out to dinner. David would start calling a month in advance to remind us to set aside the date. If we missed the occasion, which too often happened, he would repeatedly call in order to arrange the belated get-together. David was a friend for life, even if the Zeff and Margolis families could not enjoy each other’s company often enough.
Judith- I want to reiterate something that David already said to you. You are not alone. You are surrounded by a loving family and adoring friends. We will be there for you and with you- not out of duty, but of love.
The prophet Isaiah speaks of an ultimate future when “death will be swallowed up forever.” We all long for that day when we will not longer have to say such sad goodbyes to such a wonderful friend. 2005-07-25 17:28:32 °30 |
Dear Judith,
I am sorry for your loss. Although I never met David I sure he was a wonderful person since you loved him.
Regretfully,
Elliott 2005-07-25 18:51:57 °31 |
Dear Judith & Family,
I was stunned to hear the news of David's passing. I remember fondly our spirited discussions together in Jerusalem some 11 years ago now, and your's and David's generous hospitality. May you be comforted that David's spirit landed gently on so many. 2005-07-25 19:28:23 °32 |
Judith, Hodya, Ephraim, and Noa...Never was there a finer man than David...in terms of intelligence, sensitivity, warmth, wit, and soul...I feel honored to have known David and feel such a shock at how swiftly he was taken from all of us that loved him. Please know that those of us that feel but a fraction of your grief...are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers...and sending you strength and support and love in the only way we can...long distance...but, any time you want to feel it up close and personal...the hugs are here...ready and waiting...whenever you next visit your OLD stomping grounds. David was a unique treasure...his humanity was so everpresent in all his endeavors...and he will be missed by all of us still reeling from the reality that he's no longer with us. May the memories you made with him continue to enrich your lives as you reflect on how lucky you were to have him in your lives for as long as Hashem saw fit to let him share his wonderful spirit with all of us. 2005-07-25 19:29:31 °33 |
Dear Judith,
My heart goes out to you and your family. The short time I got to know you and David while I was in Arad on the Arts Project will always be one of the most important and life-changing experiences of my life. I will never forget David's warmth, generosity of spirit and guidance as a writing mentor. His love of the written word was so infectious and I will forever be grateful for his support. I will miss him terribly.
B'ahava,
Tanya 2005-07-25 20:54:27 °34 |
Ya think David knew he was one of the richest people in the world? Oh how I'd love to ask him that, just to speak with him again. I can think of a million witty responses, but not the perfect one he'd come up with that would both be true and point out the absurdity of the question.
We all tried to meet him at his level, came up short, but were the more for the effort.
At his memorial service in L.A., some one told the story of the doctors leaning over him, wanting to be certain he concurred that there should be no last ditch efforts at resuscitation. Inches from his face, they demanded that David say "right", that he understood. He struggled for a breath and in an audible whisper, said "r... i... g... h... t". In Alan's house, everyone cracked up. David to the end. I'll bet he even rolled his eyes.
We all know a horrible mistake has been made. David promised he would take care of my dog, Suzie, after I died. He was suppossed to be revering G-d and wryly commenting on the human condition for the next twenty years. He wanted nothing more than to look out his window on the West Bank and write fiction truer than fact. But he'd already lived a fact greater than fiction, the story of David, and I guess it was time to move him on up.
Stop sniggering, David! I'm doing the best I can. It's always hardest on those who are left behind.
Fred Franklin 2005-07-25 21:20:40 °35 |
How very sad it was to hear of the untimely passing of this rare man and special friend. We met in the context of work, in a maelstrom of egos that unraveled friendships and diminished the integrity of many fine people. It was a lonely time for me, a gentile struggling to find a place in Jerusalem in the company of brilliant and heady young expatriots. David reached out as a friend - beyond judgement, beyond office politics, and endearingly, beyond the highly fashionable taxonomic strictures of Jewish life in Israel. He was warm and supportive, finding value in the human being I was and taking genuine interest in the life I had chosen. When we first became colleagues, I looked to find cynicism in his steady supply of questions and observations ... but realized in time the extraordinary lack of guile that informed the gentle spirit behind his rigorous mind.
I had hoped one day we might correspond in a more formal way, sharing observations created by the great parallax of our distant locations and orientations. I am sorry that will never be. I'm sorry for your passing, David. May you now speak the fluent Hebrew you always envied in me! Your memory is a blessing and a balm for the sadness I feel at your loss. I know I am but one of the many lives you touched and blessed, unwittingly, in your short stay here. 2005-07-25 23:29:37 °36 |
Dear Judith, Hodya, Ephraim and Noa; I was shocked and saddened to learn of David's passing. I have very fond memories of sharing Havdallah and dinners in S.F. with all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope there is comfort for you in the love and caring of the community which you and David created wherever you went. Love, Lois and Pat 2005-07-26 00:30:48 °37 |
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